All the buried seeds
crack open in the dark
the instant they surrender
to a process they can’t see
Mark NepoAlways remember that Nature refuses to be rushed. She can only be made to evolve and that takes time, so take heart.
Sri Dharma Mittra
Once upon a time when I was a regular Facebook user, a new mommy posted something like “does your 4.5 month old bring you to your knees” and I replied “yes, and your 1 year old, and your 18 month old, and your 3 year old, and your 7 year old, and your 13 year old and so on and so on.”
Yes, our children bring us to our knees. They bring us to our knees because we want the very best for them. You feel it more when they get older. When they aren’t living up to our expectations or they make bad choices, we get scared because we know life is going to be that much harder for them.
In those moments when I collapse from fear and my heart is raw and there is no crying left in me, I look deeply into my sweet 18 year old’s eyes. A great stillness overtakes me, the stillness that feels like God. In that moment, I know without a doubt that my child is going to be okay.
Our children can be our greatest teachers. Over the years I have radically altered my vision of what success looks like. Through a lot of heartache and worry, I have learned some essential questions to guide my thinking. Does my child know he is loved? Is he kind? Is he curious? Is he connected?
Parenting is like one big exercise of acceptance and trust and letting go. We have to meet our children where they are and understand that they were born into this world with their own karma and their own work to do. We can love them like crazy and try to support them and encourage them as much as we can, but in the end we can’t control them. We have to accept them for who they are and not who we want them to be, trust in the divine process of their own unfolding, and let them go.