Empty yourself and let the universe fill you.
Yogi tea fortune
Considering, also, your own dharma, you should not waiver; for to a warrior nothing is better than a righteous war.
The Bhagavad Gita 2.31
Between a work trip to Brooklyn and a flight to Memphis I was able to take Dharma’s Maha Shakti class last Saturday morning. I am always so happy to be in the presence of Dharma. Usually, it is a shot in the arm, a fix, an “oh this is why I’m doing what I’m doing” tears streaming down my face in Savasana.
This time I walked in to The Dharma Center fully charged, my heart bursting, stuffed with bliss.
Why? Because for the first time in a long time life is not such a struggle. This too will change I know, but for now I feel like I am following my dharma (with a lower-case “d”), my God-given path, my duty, my work, the reason why I am here on earth at this moment in this body with this mind.
For the last few years I have been following my heart, pouring everything I have into my relationship with my soulmate and my relationship with God, trusting somehow that I would be able to pay my rent and put food on the table, while my dharma somehow emerges.
And even though these two relationships are fully aligned and I wake up every morning filled with gratitude, another part of me felt like I had to figure my own dharma out – like there was a process I could manage. I could make a vision board or read a book or take one of those Mind Body Green 10-step courses on manifesting the life you want.
But what I discovered along the way is that it’s not so easy and clear cut as all that. The spiritual path can be messy and ugly and heavy. In order to open yourself up to do the things you are meant to do, you have to face your stuff head on, all of your triggers, your fears, your issues.
In other words, you have to push through it all even when there is no end in sight. In the words of MLK Jr. “If you can’t fly then run, if you can’t run then walk, if you can’t walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.” You have to keep pushing.
Gradually things start to feel lighter, and you trust more and more that what you are supposed to do will become clear. It did for me anyhow. Three months ago it became clear to me that I had a responsibility to share the spiritual knowledge that has been given to me.
I let go of all the excuses (I travel too much, I don’t know how to adjust, I’m not a teacher, I’m still a student). I opened up my house to my neighbors and teach when I am in town. And guess what? We love it. It is a beautiful way to share my practice and all of Dharma’s teachings.
The only problem is that it doesn’t pay the rent. And now I know that’s okay. When I finally surrendered to the notion that I don’t have to earn a living being a yoga instructor, that I can earn a living doing something else, the universe called. It gave me my old job back, the job that I love, the job that is not really a job because it is in my heart like yoga like Dharma like you like me like love like light. So hum.